Dear Whackerites:

For two decades we've gathered here--a brotherhood of disgrunts devoted to the the manly arts of masturbation. And now, after 17 hard years, I've finished THE DICK, my epochal biography of the late pervert-cum-scholar Joe Nathan Laschtog, and his doomed effort to write The Great Book on Porn.

What is THE DICK? Is it a horny literary rampage? Is it one man's ejaculation of sexual confusion and pain? Or is it the Moby Dick of smut—the great book on porn Laschtog died trying to write? Yes. But it's also jampacked, chockfull, and tippytop crammed with thrills, chills, tears, and pantshitting laughter.

Now, that I've published THE DICK, I'm working 24-7 toward reimagining, rebuilding, and relaunching THEWHACKER.COM, not only as a safe space for embittered autoerotics like us, but also as the throbbing libido of the Trumpian movement.

Stay tuned for the grand reopening of thewhacker.com!!!

TTFN You Beautiful Pervos...